The Official Guide to Christmas in the South: Or, If You Can't Fry It, Spraypaint It Gold

Brian Baumgartner (Author)

The Night Before Christmas at Dunder Mifflin

8,The first official The Office holiday storybook-a new classic for fans of all ages!Spend "The Night Before Christmas" at Dunder Mifflin in this hilarious and timeless illustrated retelling of the beloved poem, featuring a visit from Michael Scott as Santa and narrated by Kevin Malone (author Brian Baumgartner). "'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Dunder Mifflin, not an accountant was stirring..."It's Christmas Eve at Scranton's finest paper company, and Michael Scott is nowhere to be found. As the office dozes off after their raucous holiday party, two mysterious visitors sneak in: a Santa peddling holiday cheer and that's what she said jokes, and his beet-loving, dutiful, right-hand elf. Armed with absurd gifts for the staff, tacky decorations for the office, and absolutely nothing good for Toby, the two prepare to give Dunder Mifflin a holiday they'll never forget.A hilarious twist on a Christmas classic, The Night Before Christmas at Dunder Mifflin is a rollicking, festive, and heartwarming jaunt through everyone's favorite office, the perfect holiday treat for any fan of the show. ...

Gabe Henry (Author)

Enough Is Enuf: Our Failed Attempts to Make English Easier to Spell

2,A brief and humorous 500-year history of the Simplified Spelling Movement from advocates like Ben Franklin, C. S. Lewis, and Mark Twain to texts and Twitter.Why does the G in George sound different from the G in gorge? Why does C begin both case and cease? And why is it funny when a philologist faints, but not polight to laf about it? Anyone who has ever had the misfortune to write in English has, at one time or another, struggled with its spelling.So why do we continue to use it? If our system of writing words is so tragically inconsistent, why haven't we standardized it, phoneticized it, brought it into line? How many brave linguists have ever had the courage to state, in a declaration of phonetic revolt: "Enough is enuf"? The answer: many. In the comic annals of linguistic history, legions of rebel wordsmiths have died on the hill of spelling reform, risking their reputations to bring English into the realm of the rational. This book is about them: Mark Twain, Ben Franklin, Eliza Burnz, C. S. Lewis, George Bernard Shaw, Charles Darwin, and the innumerable others on both sides of the Atlantic who, for a time in their life, became fanatically occupied with writing thru instead ...

Mike Haskins (Author)

3000 Jokes, 2997 Laughs

6, The ultimate joke book with over 3,000 side-splitting jokes for every occasion: ranging from one-liners and observations, to classic funny stories that will provide hours of fun. Mike Haskins and Stephen Arnott collate this wonderful comedy-fest full of quick-fire one-liners, timely observations and rambling yarns - from the classic to the modern. This book contains quips for every occasion: from a best man's speech to a sales conference, for swapping around the dinner table and even for when you're sitting on the loo!Arranged by subject matter, you'll always be able to find just the right joke for any situation. (Unless you're a child, because this book is strictly for adults only.)This hilarious collection will appeal to those who want to find a specific rib-tickler for an upcoming event, and to those who wants to settle down in an armchair and have a good old laugh. From the hilariously cringe-worthy dad joke, to the witty brain-teaser, 3000 Jokes, 2997 Laughs will leave you the funniest person in every room.Jokes include: Tom's eyesight is getting very bad. He's had to get a special new pair of glasses to help him find where he left his old glasses. What ...